Might as well, can't dance...
That was the cool guy standard response to any suggested activity back when I was a pimpled adolescent trying to fit in with the high school crowd. I may re-adopt it because it looks like I really can’t at least without a knee replacement. I did some fairly aggressive flat-footing at the Nebraska bluegrass festival last October, tore a bit of cartilage in my left knee, and finally had to have a small operation to get it to quit hurting. I thought it was completely healed, so tried to do bit of dancing a couple of weeks ago. Right on schedule, it swelled up and started hurting again. Not only can’t dance, I can’t run or ride a bike either.
They’ve got some pretty impressive replacement knee and hip joints available now, so I suppose someday I might get one of those. For now, I can walk OK so am not going to spend that kind of money just so I can hop around on stage from time to time. Also, I’ve heard that the replacement joints tend to attract lightning strikes.
To avoid involuntary obesity, I bought an exercise machine. It’s a German hand forged double bit axe. Cost me $109.00 with shipping, not too bad for an exercise machine, pretty expensive for an axe. But it’s a very fine axe. I of course had an axe, an old Tru-temper with a new handle that would likely have cut anything that the new one will. I am prone to occasionally splurge on a tool of the very best quality available for several reasons. One is that if I give $109 for an axe, I will keep it sharp, store it properly, and not abuse it by using it for a sledgehammer or something. I won’t leave it out somewhere and lose it. I will not loan it to anybody without a lecture on its cost and value that will almost certainly intimidate the potential borrower into changing their mind and buying their own damn axe. And finally, there is simply great pleasure to be had in using a tool and knowing that it is the best available.
The first day I used it, I kept hearing a peculiar ringing tone that took a few minutes for me to understand. Finally figured out that it was the axe head. Any time that it strikes wood and does not imbed itself, it rings with a beautiful clear tone and the sound will sustain for a few seconds. I’ve never heard a tool do that before. I tried my old axe and it makes only a dull metallic thud. This sheds a new light on the old song lyric about a hammer that "rings like silver and shines like gold", or on John Henry’s claim that "Nobodies hammer in this tunnel rings like mine." I think I can safely say that nobodies axe in Daviess County rings like mine.
Getting back to the point of all this, chopping wood is one of the few things that I can do using my upper body only and still get a decent aerobic workout. It used to be common as part of the training regimen for boxers, at least it was always shown in those old low budget boxing movies that had a series of spinning newspaper headlines describing a sequence of massacres by the up and coming young future champ. I could swim, but a pool would cost a lot more than an axe and there aren’t any within reasonable driving distance from where I live in the woods. Besides that, I can only swim enough to get out of the water and since the water around here tends to not be very wide, that’s not very far.
I of course cut and burn a lot of wood to heat my house and the shop in Gallatin. It is a way to generate heat with very little cash expense, it is carbon neutral according to the global warming scolds, it makes productive use of the brushy growth that would make the place a jungle if not controlled, and it provides good exercise even with a chain saw. Some wise person once said that the secret of success in life is to never be doing just one thing at a time.
I sold my gasoline powered wood splitter years ago, I prefer to split wood with a maul. It enhances the exercise aspect of the job, plus it’s fun to do. Wood splitting is a very interesting combination of art and science. It requires evaluating a piece of wood for grain structure, placement of knots, pre-existing splits and a half dozen other factors that will determine where the most likely splitting plane is. You also have to know about the nature of the particular species of wood. Ash, White Oak, Hackberry and Walnut split easily through the middle of the trunk. Sycamore is harder and requires that flakes be taken off the outside. Pin Oak usually has so many small internal knots that it is very hard to split. Honey locust and hedge are medium tough, but will split with multiple strikes. You have to have enough faith to hit it repeatedly even if not visible split has formed. All wood splits better if struck on the bottom end of the stick, unless there is a knot in a low position in which case a split started at the top will often work through the knot. Frozen wood splits easier than warm. Elm will not split at all under any circumstance until it is partially rotted. That’s not a big deal, since Dutch Elm Disease has killed almost all the Elm big enough to need splitting anyway.
Bottom line is I can split most wood with a maul almost as fast as with a splitter, although I can’t work as long without a break. Eliminating the hassle of keeping the splitter running makes up the difference and I have no plans to get another one unless I become completely infirm.
I am considering buying a good one-man crosscut saw and exploring the possibility that I could cut enough wood to heat the house and shop without any power tools whatever. It would be year round project and might be exactly what I need to maintain some semblance of physical condition without totally wrecking my knee.
I have reached tentative agreement with fellow anachronism Jeff Brown to start on a log cabin this summer. We have discussed the idea of doing that project using only primitive hand tools. After reminding myself of the amount of work required to simply cut down and limb a medium sized tree, I have my doubts. The idea of doing that with 50 to 75 trees, then hewing the logs flat on two sides and chopping the notches required for stacking is pretty overwhelming. I am astonished that people were able to go into a howling wilderness centuries ago with only a few hand tools and make shelters, clear garden spots, and produce enough food to survive.
In closing, I have to mention Bud Dunham. He lived in Pattonsburg many years ago where he had a metal building maybe 75 feet long by 24 wide. It was completely packed with an amazing array of antiques, junk, and just weird stuff. After he had accumulated a critical mass of material, he began to call it a museum and this inspired folks around town to donate things to him to display. I can’t remember if he charged admission or not. I was only inside the place once or twice that I can recall. The one thing that I have always remembered seeing there was a boot with the front portion from about the arch forward almost completely severed. It had belonged to a local resident who was wearing it when he accidentally chopped his own foot off. We are but pale shadows of the giants who went before us.
Come to think of it, maybe that guy was the first to say "Might as well, can’t dance".
They’ve got some pretty impressive replacement knee and hip joints available now, so I suppose someday I might get one of those. For now, I can walk OK so am not going to spend that kind of money just so I can hop around on stage from time to time. Also, I’ve heard that the replacement joints tend to attract lightning strikes.
To avoid involuntary obesity, I bought an exercise machine. It’s a German hand forged double bit axe. Cost me $109.00 with shipping, not too bad for an exercise machine, pretty expensive for an axe. But it’s a very fine axe. I of course had an axe, an old Tru-temper with a new handle that would likely have cut anything that the new one will. I am prone to occasionally splurge on a tool of the very best quality available for several reasons. One is that if I give $109 for an axe, I will keep it sharp, store it properly, and not abuse it by using it for a sledgehammer or something. I won’t leave it out somewhere and lose it. I will not loan it to anybody without a lecture on its cost and value that will almost certainly intimidate the potential borrower into changing their mind and buying their own damn axe. And finally, there is simply great pleasure to be had in using a tool and knowing that it is the best available.
The first day I used it, I kept hearing a peculiar ringing tone that took a few minutes for me to understand. Finally figured out that it was the axe head. Any time that it strikes wood and does not imbed itself, it rings with a beautiful clear tone and the sound will sustain for a few seconds. I’ve never heard a tool do that before. I tried my old axe and it makes only a dull metallic thud. This sheds a new light on the old song lyric about a hammer that "rings like silver and shines like gold", or on John Henry’s claim that "Nobodies hammer in this tunnel rings like mine." I think I can safely say that nobodies axe in Daviess County rings like mine.
Getting back to the point of all this, chopping wood is one of the few things that I can do using my upper body only and still get a decent aerobic workout. It used to be common as part of the training regimen for boxers, at least it was always shown in those old low budget boxing movies that had a series of spinning newspaper headlines describing a sequence of massacres by the up and coming young future champ. I could swim, but a pool would cost a lot more than an axe and there aren’t any within reasonable driving distance from where I live in the woods. Besides that, I can only swim enough to get out of the water and since the water around here tends to not be very wide, that’s not very far.
I of course cut and burn a lot of wood to heat my house and the shop in Gallatin. It is a way to generate heat with very little cash expense, it is carbon neutral according to the global warming scolds, it makes productive use of the brushy growth that would make the place a jungle if not controlled, and it provides good exercise even with a chain saw. Some wise person once said that the secret of success in life is to never be doing just one thing at a time.
I sold my gasoline powered wood splitter years ago, I prefer to split wood with a maul. It enhances the exercise aspect of the job, plus it’s fun to do. Wood splitting is a very interesting combination of art and science. It requires evaluating a piece of wood for grain structure, placement of knots, pre-existing splits and a half dozen other factors that will determine where the most likely splitting plane is. You also have to know about the nature of the particular species of wood. Ash, White Oak, Hackberry and Walnut split easily through the middle of the trunk. Sycamore is harder and requires that flakes be taken off the outside. Pin Oak usually has so many small internal knots that it is very hard to split. Honey locust and hedge are medium tough, but will split with multiple strikes. You have to have enough faith to hit it repeatedly even if not visible split has formed. All wood splits better if struck on the bottom end of the stick, unless there is a knot in a low position in which case a split started at the top will often work through the knot. Frozen wood splits easier than warm. Elm will not split at all under any circumstance until it is partially rotted. That’s not a big deal, since Dutch Elm Disease has killed almost all the Elm big enough to need splitting anyway.
Bottom line is I can split most wood with a maul almost as fast as with a splitter, although I can’t work as long without a break. Eliminating the hassle of keeping the splitter running makes up the difference and I have no plans to get another one unless I become completely infirm.
I am considering buying a good one-man crosscut saw and exploring the possibility that I could cut enough wood to heat the house and shop without any power tools whatever. It would be year round project and might be exactly what I need to maintain some semblance of physical condition without totally wrecking my knee.
I have reached tentative agreement with fellow anachronism Jeff Brown to start on a log cabin this summer. We have discussed the idea of doing that project using only primitive hand tools. After reminding myself of the amount of work required to simply cut down and limb a medium sized tree, I have my doubts. The idea of doing that with 50 to 75 trees, then hewing the logs flat on two sides and chopping the notches required for stacking is pretty overwhelming. I am astonished that people were able to go into a howling wilderness centuries ago with only a few hand tools and make shelters, clear garden spots, and produce enough food to survive.
In closing, I have to mention Bud Dunham. He lived in Pattonsburg many years ago where he had a metal building maybe 75 feet long by 24 wide. It was completely packed with an amazing array of antiques, junk, and just weird stuff. After he had accumulated a critical mass of material, he began to call it a museum and this inspired folks around town to donate things to him to display. I can’t remember if he charged admission or not. I was only inside the place once or twice that I can recall. The one thing that I have always remembered seeing there was a boot with the front portion from about the arch forward almost completely severed. It had belonged to a local resident who was wearing it when he accidentally chopped his own foot off. We are but pale shadows of the giants who went before us.
Come to think of it, maybe that guy was the first to say "Might as well, can’t dance".
posted by tickmeister at 5:03 PM
4 comments
